1 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,907 "Miracle soap washes away fat. 2 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:15,614 "Shower and shed pounds at the same time." 3 00:00:16,851 --> 00:00:18,462 Well, Ma, that's perfect for you. 4 00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:21,119 You can use a bar of Dove to get rid of your Dove Bar. 5 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:24,801 Ladies. 6 00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,036 Tell me what could be better 7 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:30,239 than my new play being nominated for a Tony Award? 8 00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,764 - Mmm. - Your face on my grandchild. 9 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,279 No, no, seriously, Sylvia. 10 00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,648 I've been nominated for five Tonys. 11 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,117 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, I'm so... 12 00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:42,652 - Am I coming, too? - Of course. 13 00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:44,609 Happy for you! 14 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,524 So, what is the play about? 15 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,058 - Uh, yeah. - Oh, "The Widower." 16 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:52,596 Ah, well, it's about a man who loses the love of his life 17 00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:55,031 and vows never to love again. 18 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,700 So, he forgoes any chance to remarry 19 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,937 and remains a widower till the day he dies. 20 00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,027 - Sounds very poignant. - Hmm. 21 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,498 You need a house to fall on you? 22 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,384 Ma, it's a beautiful love story. 23 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,886 Not even the gorgeous governess in the third act 24 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,522 could turn the widower's head. 25 00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,457 I don't know what happened after that. 26 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:23,215 I was sobbing too violently. 27 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,196 So, where are the children? 28 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,599 I sent Niles to tell them I got five. 29 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,733 They're not coming down 30 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,969 until they know how many Andrew Lloyd Webber got. 31 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:35,471 Oh, good Lord. 32 00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:38,174 Do you even think I'm that childish? 33 00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:40,810 Two. 34 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:43,312 ♪ I got five, he got two ♪ 35 00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:45,448 ♪ I got five, he got two ♪ 36 00:01:49,209 --> 00:01:51,921 Maxwell, why are you in here? 37 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,757 Hugging children? 38 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:57,293 We've got to get out there and turn it on for the judges. 39 00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:59,562 Now what would I look really great in? 40 00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:00,852 A sealed mausoleum. 41 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,202 Kids, kids. I'm so excited. 42 00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,237 The Tonys get so many stars. 43 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,872 Kids: I know, yeah, right. 44 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:12,442 Too many nominations scare me. 45 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,011 Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be 46 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:19,037 to be up for five awards and not even win one? 47 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,391 You know, the next time 48 00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,427 you kvetch about my therapy bills, 49 00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,083 would you remember this moment? 50 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,869 ♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing Queens ♪ 51 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:41,170 ♪ Till her boyfriend kicked her out ♪ 52 00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:42,872 ♪ In one of those crushing scenes ♪ 53 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,874 ♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪ 54 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:48,311 ♪ She was out on her fanny ♪ 55 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,747 ♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪ 56 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,283 ♪ She was there to sell makeup, but father saw more ♪ 57 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,452 ♪ She had style, she had flair, she was there ♪ 58 00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:59,188 ♪ That's how she became The Nanny ♪ 59 00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:02,058 ♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪ 60 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:04,294 ♪ Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪ 61 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,662 ♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪ 62 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:06,996 ♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪ 63 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,465 ♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪ 64 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:09,566 ♪ Such joie de vivre ♪ 65 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:10,900 ♪ She is the lady in red ♪ 66 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:15,338 ♪ When everybody else is wearing tan ♪ 67 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,406 ♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪ 68 00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:18,763 ♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪♪ 69 00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,487 Fran, don't look, but I think that's Liza 70 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,431 coming down the row in front of us. 71 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:35,525 I probably shouldn't have said that, huh? 72 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,227 Oh, hello, Miss Minnelli. 73 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:38,661 Willkommen, bienvenue. 74 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:39,896 - Welcome. - Oh! 75 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,697 Oh! Oh, I'm sorry that was terrible. 76 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:42,732 Here we go, one more time. 77 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,034 - Ooh! - Okay, okay. 78 00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:45,468 Keep movin', honey. We can't see. Go ahead. 79 00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:47,737 Miss Fine! 80 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,205 You know what? I'm out of control. 81 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,495 Here, take the camera from me. 82 00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,145 All right, now this is it. 83 00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:56,646 If they start to shoot our row, 84 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,048 I don't want anyone making rabbit ears 85 00:03:58,072 --> 00:03:59,515 behind anyone else's head, all right? 86 00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:00,784 Just behave yourselves. 87 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:01,818 When did I ever do that? 88 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:02,985 I wasn't speaking to you. 89 00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,589 Oh, one time at the Angela Lansbury Roast. 90 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:06,978 Would you let it go? 91 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,193 Okay, now. 92 00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:12,561 You know, Andrew Lloyd Webber won two awards, 93 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,662 you've won two awards. 94 00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:15,198 And he's not up for anything else, 95 00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,200 so you're not gonna have to hear his name mentioned again. 96 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:20,103 Man: Now, to present the nominees for Best Play, 97 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,392 Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber. 98 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,047 Webber: The nominees are 99 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:34,217 "Saint Thomas", Martin Brigg producer, 100 00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:37,820 "Flight of the June Bird", Marilyn Chang producer. 101 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:41,491 And "The Widower", Ma... 102 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:45,061 Ma... 103 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,664 Pardon me, I'm so sorry. 104 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,121 Maxwell Sheffield, you little twit! 105 00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:59,475 Webber: And the award goes to 106 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,619 "The Widower," Maxwell Sheffield, producer. 107 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:10,252 Excuse me. Excuse me. 108 00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:12,689 I co-produced. I raised money. 109 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,079 Oh, I'm sorry. 110 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,316 What are you doing? Get off me! 111 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,607 Do you think you could possibly manage a smile 112 00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:33,142 for the reporters, 113 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,800 so they don't think my butler is a criminal on work furlough? 114 00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:38,737 Go like this. 115 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,617 Forgive me, sir. 116 00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:44,854 But try to see your winning an award from my point of view. 117 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,356 You say, "Welcome to my party, Senator." 118 00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:51,227 And I say, "The little ones are cheese." 119 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:53,396 That's your job. I pay you overtime, don't I? 120 00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,020 - What more do you want? - Look up. 121 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,802 You gather the whole family around for photos backstage. 122 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,337 Then make me stand behind you, 123 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,129 and pull your jacket in to give you a V shape. 124 00:06:05,299 --> 00:06:07,042 Good Lord. 125 00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,311 Crinkle your forehead. 126 00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:09,846 Just for once, just once, 127 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,547 I wish you'd behave like a normal butler. 128 00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,305 What the hell are you doing? 129 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,907 Are you insane? 130 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,189 Would you trust me? 131 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,657 You've got that whole pasty Hugh Grant, 132 00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,648 "I need a week in Miami" look. 133 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:26,996 Maxwell, the reporters are here. 134 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,364 - Oh. - Nanny Fine, 135 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,798 I need something at your mother's house. 136 00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:30,866 - Oh, what? - You. 137 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:31,890 Oh! 138 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:34,937 Did you know 139 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:38,975 that we are booked through '99? 140 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:42,745 That grieving widower speech of yours was a gold mine. 141 00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,780 C.C., I was speaking from the heart. 142 00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:45,814 - Yeah, yeah. - All those y... 143 00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:46,838 Okay. 144 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,653 Handy wipe, I want you to scoop some ashes 145 00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,421 out of the fireplace and put them in here. 146 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:55,424 We'll plop it on your desk and say it's Sarah. 147 00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:57,549 Always near you. Yada, yada. 148 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,364 C.C.! I... 149 00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,734 I will not pass off Duraflame residue 150 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,323 as the mother of my children. 151 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,406 Maxwell, I never noticed 152 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,465 how long and luxurious your lashes are. 153 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,222 Just... just send in the reporters, would you? 154 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,050 All right, Niles. How do I look? 155 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:24,086 Oh. You really should switch to the waterproof. 156 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,021 Oh. Just, knock it off. 157 00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:28,165 Ladies and gentlemen, please, come this way. 158 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:32,929 Maxwell, congratulations. "The Widower" is a hit. 159 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,931 Do you think the play has touched a lot of people 160 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:37,000 because it's a true story of you and your wife? 161 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:39,869 Well, I think people like to see a play they can relate to. 162 00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,304 The widower hasn't been with a woman 163 00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,738 since the death of his wife. 164 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:44,707 Are you expecting us to believe that's true of you? 165 00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,931 A guy like you, with those lashes? 166 00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,580 Let... let's just say, 167 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:54,216 I think my memories will last me a long time. 168 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,875 Are you telling me you never plan to remarry? 169 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,055 Well, now, that depends. 170 00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:02,158 Of course, if the right woman were to... 171 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,280 Miss Fine! 172 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,597 Ignore her, she is just the nanny. 173 00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:08,698 Any of you have children? 174 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:09,922 Because we're letting her go. 175 00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:13,569 - That's your nanny? - Hi. 176 00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,305 - I saw you at the Tonys. - Uh-huh. 177 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,439 Nice. 178 00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:18,608 So, you took the whole household? 179 00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:19,908 Hey, how about a picture? 180 00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:21,243 Oh, I don't really think it's appropriate. 181 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,467 Get me from the left, honey. 182 00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:25,948 - Nanny Fine. - What? 183 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,382 This is a press conference, 184 00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:29,351 not Eva Peron on the Rainbow Tour. 185 00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:30,586 Oh. 186 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,677 This is Maxwell's moment. 187 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:34,887 Get out of my light. 188 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,935 Would you get undressed and go to bed already? 189 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,558 I could still get a call. 190 00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:54,009 It's past midnight. The cast party is over. 191 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,577 He's not inviting you. 192 00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:57,246 I don't know why not. 193 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,938 I was the inspiration for the character of the butler. 194 00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:04,787 He was 25 with a blonde pompadour 195 00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,555 and an impish grin. 196 00:09:06,579 --> 00:09:07,824 Well, so was I, 197 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,481 600,000 Brillo Pads ago. 198 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,964 ♪ Rum, pum pa-pa ♪ 199 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,699 Hello, Niles. You're going somewhere? 200 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:20,691 Oh, I thought I'd just trot over to the cast party and clean up. 201 00:09:22,829 --> 00:09:25,007 Oh, stop it. 202 00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,271 You can do that in the morning. 203 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,815 Now, Miss Fine, you did understand 204 00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:35,018 this party was for cast and crew only, right? 205 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:38,020 I mean, you weren't expecting to be invited, were you? 206 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:39,044 No. 207 00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:45,795 Margaret? 208 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,663 It's little late for you, isn't it? 209 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,532 I'm home, okay? So lay off me. 210 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:52,167 You're like the last person I have to answer to. 211 00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:53,202 Where did that come from? 212 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,270 You get back down here, young lady. 213 00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:57,239 Margaret: No! 214 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,273 Well, she's not going to get away 215 00:09:58,297 --> 00:09:59,342 with speaking to me like that. 216 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:00,710 Oh, now. Wait, wait. 217 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,945 Let her just calm down a little bit. 218 00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:05,013 What... what do you mean? Her calm down? What about me? 219 00:10:05,037 --> 00:10:06,716 Well, you're just gonna have to deal with it. 220 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:10,486 Look, when I hit puberty my mother was a size six. 221 00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,188 When I hit 18, 222 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,212 so did she. 223 00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,163 Whatever could make her leave the house 224 00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,297 and then come back home 225 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:24,433 with a completely different personality? 226 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,502 Hey, I don't even wanna think about it. 227 00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:29,160 Do you read those pamphlets they send home from school? 228 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:32,474 Oh, so what do you think? 229 00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:35,544 Alcohol? Sex? 230 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:38,602 Not tonight! I'm too distracted. 231 00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:57,399 See, see, it's really a typical adolescent reaction. 232 00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:59,001 Someone else is in the limelight 233 00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:00,536 and they lash out to get attention. 234 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,972 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - Yes, I see, I see. 235 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,907 So... so what would you suggest? 236 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,876 Have you tried one of those trophies 237 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,900 that says "Butler of the Year"? 238 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:15,317 Okay, I'm here. 239 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,619 Oh, I'm Dr. Miller. 240 00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,921 Uh, please have a seat. 241 00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,891 Ugh, this is a total waste of time. 242 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,225 So, Margaret, 243 00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:26,818 your family feels that something's bothering you. 244 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:33,035 Well, honey, just feel free to vent your feelings. 245 00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:36,572 I mean, nobody's gonna hold it against you. 246 00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,709 Just tell us what's on your mind. 247 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,293 Okay. I hate him. 248 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,848 That's okay, that's okay. Don't take it personal. 249 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,017 Just let her express. 250 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,218 I hate you, too. 251 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,187 Open a window! 252 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,079 Open a window, I cannot breathe! 253 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,195 Look, Margaret, if I've hurt you, 254 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,696 I can't do anything about it 255 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,666 until I know what it is I'm supposed to have done. 256 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:04,690 Well, fine. 257 00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,570 Here. 258 00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:11,596 "The Nanny and the Hunk Producer"? 259 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:14,777 "Broadway's leading widower 260 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:17,402 keeps broad on the side for years." 261 00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:22,217 You and Fran had an affair while mom was still alive. 262 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,520 You even cheated on your honeymoon. 263 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,788 Look, the pictures prove it. 264 00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,790 Margaret, you can't believe this. 265 00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:30,792 Sweetie, for this to be true, 266 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:33,062 do you know how old I would have to be? 267 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,630 Yeah. 40. 268 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,034 Oh, my God! 269 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,024 She's doing drugs too! 270 00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:51,280 Well, the good news is 271 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:54,183 Brighton and Gracie never even saw that story 272 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:55,751 - in the tabloids. - Ah. 273 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,208 The bad news is I didn't know that and I told them. 274 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:04,459 But the paper's credibility was blown by the headline 275 00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:08,363 "Neighbors scream eyesore as Barbara Eden 276 00:13:08,387 --> 00:13:09,821 moves into giant bottle." 277 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,937 Still, where they got these photographs from my honeymoon? 278 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,906 I mean, who would want to hurt me like this 279 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:19,530 for a few thousand dollars? 280 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,112 Good heavens. 281 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:27,015 You got your finger caught in John Gielgud's fly. 282 00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:28,317 Trust me, if I needed money, 283 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,341 I wouldn't have to make something up. 284 00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:34,756 He was King Lear, I was his dresser. 285 00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:35,913 Did I say a word? 286 00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,228 I just wanna hit something. 287 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:40,963 I mean, doesn't it drive you crazy? 288 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,699 People reading this stuff and then believing it? 289 00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:45,601 Look, they were accusing me of having an affair 290 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:46,969 with a married millionaire. 291 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,126 In my old neighborhood, that's a career goal. 292 00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:54,043 All you have to do is, worry about Maggie. 293 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,978 Why do you care about the rest of the world? 294 00:13:56,002 --> 00:14:00,349 Nobody but a mindless nutcase would buy into this junk. 295 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,651 You were having an affair with Mr. Sheffield 296 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,675 on his honeymoon? 297 00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:08,779 And you're still getting six bucks an hour? 298 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,399 Who is it? 299 00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,623 Grace: It's me. I'm very upset. I need to talk. 300 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:27,176 Okay, I'm in, honey. You can go. 301 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,544 Gracie! 302 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:31,047 Hey, I can't even get a Happy Meal by myself. 303 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,071 She owns me. 304 00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,819 God, Fran, I can't believe you'd use a little girl 305 00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,053 to get what you want. 306 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,922 And, it's not as easy as it used to be. 307 00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:41,946 She's much bigger and less compelling. 308 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:46,295 Sweetie, I gotta get you to understand... 309 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,530 I do understand. 310 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,199 I finally understand why dad would hire a woman 311 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,143 off a resume written in lipstick. 312 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,670 And she's still our nanny 313 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:57,139 even though, like, two of us can drive. 314 00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:59,375 Sweetie, these pictures of your father and I 315 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,843 on the beach are completely fake. 316 00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:02,844 Prove it. 317 00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,080 Look at this. 318 00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:07,316 I'm wearing Clinique ivory bisque base. 319 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:11,520 Not patented until 1987, ha! 320 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,711 There's your smoking gun, sister. 321 00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:18,142 Oh, Fran, you're wasting your breath. 322 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,332 Oh, Maggie, I-I can't believe you would actually think 323 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,167 I'm capable of something like this. 324 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,736 I tell you, I-I'm so hurt, I... 325 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,060 I don't think I could ever forgive you. 326 00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:34,777 Well, Fran, what do you expect me to think? 327 00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:37,335 It's so obvious dad is in love with you. 328 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:39,537 I forgive. 329 00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:47,690 Oh, dad. I'm sorry. 330 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,292 I believe you now. Fran explained everything. 331 00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:52,027 About how you told her you loved her 332 00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:53,250 and then took it back. 333 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:57,833 After, of course, 334 00:15:57,857 --> 00:15:59,835 saying that she's the most beautiful woman in the world 335 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:02,059 and that you can't live another day without her. 336 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,234 Well, did you want your daughter back or not? 337 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,950 Well, Maxwell, this is dreadful! 338 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,018 No, no, C.C. It's all right. 339 00:16:16,042 --> 00:16:17,452 The children understand it's a lie. 340 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,688 Oh, Margaret was a little upset. 341 00:16:18,712 --> 00:16:20,712 I don't give a rat's butt about them. 342 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,827 Ticket sales came to a screeching halt 343 00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:25,861 because of this rag. 344 00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,362 Hmm? 345 00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:30,387 "Broadway's grieving widower can't keep his pants on"? 346 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,993 I look unbelievable in this shot. 347 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:38,907 Oh, this is too much. 348 00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,943 Does this journalist have any idea 349 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,079 what he's doing to people's lives? 350 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,747 I'm going right down there now. 351 00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,548 Oh, and what are you gonna do? Punch him out? 352 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:48,851 Violence never solves anything. 353 00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,986 Besides, what do you care what the whole world thinks? 354 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,022 "40-year-old nanny"? 355 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,278 I want his blood! 356 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,234 You! 357 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,203 How can you hurt someone like this, hmm? 358 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,504 How can you destroy someone's reputation? 359 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:10,928 Yeah! 40? 360 00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:14,944 Where'd you come up with this garbage? 361 00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:16,579 I do a lot of research. 362 00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:18,013 See that? 363 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,071 Apple bears amazing resemblance to late funny man Redd Foxx. 364 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,687 Do you have any idea how much pain 365 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,255 you've caused me and my family? 366 00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:28,690 Yes. 367 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,214 - Don't you care who you hurt? - No. 368 00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:33,762 Look, I'm warning you. 369 00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,864 If you don't stop this scurrilous assault right now, 370 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,233 you'll be hearing from my lawyer. 371 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,101 Oh, jeez, I've never been sued before. 372 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,125 I'm scared. 373 00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:43,539 Come on, Miss Fine. 374 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,707 This man obviously has no conscience or remorse. 375 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,209 - Let's go. - Hey, pal, look. 376 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,011 I'm not forcing six-year-old Malaysians 377 00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:51,046 to make sequined jackets. 378 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,182 I write for a tabloid. 379 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,817 I make up stuff only an idiot would believe. 380 00:17:55,841 --> 00:17:58,542 John John's gettin' a divorce? 381 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,490 Miss Fine! 382 00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,358 Oh, sorry. 383 00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:05,422 Look, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. 384 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,332 I'll never write another word about either one of you again. 385 00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:11,800 Well, thank you. 386 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:14,369 You see, you gotta open up the mouth in this world. 387 00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:18,307 We appealed to his decency and convinced him to stop. 388 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,008 Well, that and the fact it was the worst selling issue 389 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,032 in five years. 390 00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,968 It serves him... What? 391 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,573 Laid there like a lox. 392 00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,054 Are you telling me, 393 00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:34,223 that the hunk producer and the naughty nanny 394 00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:37,025 didn't fly off the stands? 395 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:40,017 Stinko. A bomb. We were embarrassed. 396 00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:43,798 We're going back to Princess Di. 397 00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:44,955 She sells beautiful. 398 00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:49,338 I don't understand why no one wanted to read about us. 399 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,906 Oh, you don't know how to market us. 400 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,207 That's your problem, mister. 401 00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:55,010 You gotta appeal to the younger demographic. 402 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,101 It was the 40 that killed us. 403 00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,081 Guys, it's over. 404 00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:01,783 You're dullsville. 405 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,287 - Ugh. - Dullsville? 406 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:06,255 You wanna see hot? 407 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,824 You wanna see steamy? 408 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,115 Get over here, naughty nanny. 409 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:19,568 Is he looking at us? 410 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:20,592 Oh, yeah. 411 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,041 Miss... Miss Fine, he's just turned off the light. 412 00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,898 He's developing the film. 413 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,254 Well, you see, they gave me this little trophy 414 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:41,411 that says "Butler of the Year." 415 00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:45,961 - Nice. - Hmm. 416 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,396 And I know I should be happy. 417 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:50,466 But I'm suffering from tremendous guilt. 418 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,450 Where do you think that comes from? 419 00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:56,093 I never clean under anything. 420 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,377 I always lie and say that it's decaf, 421 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:03,701 because I don't feel like making a second pot. 422 00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:07,215 And during prom season, 423 00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:09,473 I drive the limo for extra cash. 424 00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:15,090 Well, maybe you weren't meant to be a butler. 425 00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:18,082 I know. I stink. 426 00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:21,764 I don't deserve to be his butler. 427 00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:22,965 He's so good to me. 428 00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,909 He's even paying for this session. 429 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:29,259 I think we're going to have to talk again about this. 430 00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:35,043 DeeDee, 431 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,469 run a TRW on Maxwell Sheffield. 432 00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:55,263 But the paper lost its credibility by the, uh, 433 00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:56,331 what's it... 434 00:20:56,355 --> 00:21:00,368 Okay, I know it. I know it. I know. 435 00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:02,259 Okay. Hmm. 436 00:21:03,562 --> 00:21:04,673 Where did that come from? 437 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,441 You get back down here, young lady. 438 00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,343 Oh, no, no. 439 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:10,127 Margaret: No. 440 00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:18,509 Well, you wanted to get your daughter back o-or what? 441 00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:21,657 What's my line? 442 00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,292 Female: Begin from the top. 443 00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:26,550 "Broadway's grieving widower can't keep his pants on"? 444 00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:32,801 Oh. Oh, ha ha ha. 445 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:34,825 What do you think of this, Miss Fine?